Monday, November 28, 2005

To my friend in the woods...

You called yesterday and it wasn't until today that I saw the missed call!
Why is it that we have this cyclic relationship?
Should I call you?
Should I?
Will we finally get together this time?
I'm afraid...
Maybe I should tell your blogger friend that I want to talk to you.
Maybe I shouldn't.
Too late, he reads my blog, but he doesn't know I'm talking about him or you.
Where will this all end?
Last week I promised myself the past would be the past and I wouldn't look back on it, and suddenly out of nowhere you call...
Does this mean anything?
Are the "Powers That Be" against me?
I don't want to lose my time anymore.
I need to settle down.
I need to stop running away.
I need to face myself.
I need to face life.
I need to embrace it.
I need to let go of all the issues.
I need to let go of all the fear.
Will it be with you?
Have things changed?
Today someone told me he wanted to introduce me to a friend of his.
I'm open.
I need someone new in my life.
I need to let go of all the ghosts.
I need to stop living on the past.
I want the future.
I need the future.
Why do you call then?
Am I destined to be tied to the past?
I don't want to!
I don't want complications, I don't want issues, I don't want secrets, I don't want lies, I want to keep my promises and promises to be kept from the other end as well.
I need someone who wants the same things as I.
I'm almost sure we're not on the same page.
You need to live.
I have lived.
I need security.
I need to know that someone will be there.
I need so many things I know you don't want to give me, or maybe you can't.
I can't go thru this one more time.
I need security.
I need peace of body and mind.
Maybe, I won't call back...
Not maybe, I just won't call back...


Kiki A.Ortiz said...

eso e muy duro..yo c

Unknown said...

But what about if you don't call and regret it?

What if it means something to call...

Hopefully you decided the right answerd.


Bracuta said...

Nah, this thing has been going on for the better part of 4, almost 5 years.
We're on different pages. He wants different things from life right now. As for me, what he wants to go thru I have already lived several times.
Last week I decided all the men in my life from the past had to stay there, in the past. I keep on going around the same circle and I just suddenly grew tired of this.
I need fresh meat! They are just not letting me move forward. Es como dice el dicho: no lavan, pero tampoco prestan la batea.
I know this is comfy, always having someone on speed dial and knowing they won't say no, I just need something different right now in this stage of my life.
Yeah, I guess for the first time in many many many years, I'm finally ready to commit. I sent all my "special friends" to hell and decided to start fresh..
(let's just hope I adhere to my resolution)

Anonymous said...

i just loved this post, like you, i'm ready para estar tranquila, pq he tenido unos dias perros, i've been rejected by someone that was my bf, i tryed to fix our problems, but he didn't wanted to, i guess i have to move on....