Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Say no to cyber bullies

I had been thinking about this all through the weekend, mainly because my hate comments have become more and more obscene and offensive as time goes by. Then I read this post on Remolacha written by a buddy of mine, who apparently has the same train of thought I do.
I am talking about the "anonymous" readers/commenters (is that even a word?).
Really, I don’t find any logic behind what these "people" (and calling them people is giving them more than what they deserve) are doing, but then again, most of what us humans do has no logic behind it at all.
I believe those "pests" (I had a better word for them but I won’t sink to their level) derive a weirdly perverted (and perverted is in no way directly attached to sex) pleasure in putting down and insulting complete strangers. Because, believe it or not, just because you read us every single day does not mean that we are not strangers to you.
To me, the subjects of this post (and I am granting them a higher level in life just by writing a whole post on them) are just sick psychos, whose life is so lame they have to try and raise some attention to them by bullying someone else who actually has a life.
Because what they are doing is called cyber-bullying. They are no different from the actual bullies that have made people take their lives or take the lives of others.
Shame on you.
Take my case for example. I have been called every pejorative, insulting and offensive word in the dictionary. Why? Simply because I have a blog. Simply because I dress a certain way. Simply because I look a certain way. Simply because I think a certain way. Simply because I do certain things. Simply because I have made certain choices in my life.
Honestly, why should all of the above matter to anyone besides me? Am I offending someone because I am overweight? Is it really necessary to call me names because I have chosen to stay single? Does it concern anyone that I choose not to go to certain places? Is it anyone’s problem that I am not fashion-savvy?
Honestly?
I think people have misunderstood the concept of having a blog, even further, why I chose to open mine.
First and foremost, I am a grown adult, with a lifetime of experience under my belt and quite some degrees to support that. I am not some stupid bimbo that goes around asking people what to do or what to think. All the things I’ve done and the decisions I’ve made have been, on their most part, while being in full control of all my senses. The consequences of those actions and decisions only affect me. None of them have ever had any repercussions in the lives of some stranger that lives miles away, that has not lived my life and that most probably will never have to interact with me in the so-called "real world".
I opened my blog because I like to write. Writing is my thing, it’s what I do. Regularly, I’m not good with spoken words; instead I just write what I feel. I have been writing for as long as I can remember. Only until I opened this blog I decided to share SOME of my writings with whoever was interested in reading them. I did not do this for any ulterior motive. Not for money, certainly not for the fame or recognition. As it may be (whether you believe it or not), I am a shy introverted person that does not like to be in the spotlight. I don’t like to draw attention to myself; I’d rather live my life without making any noise whatsoever so that no one looks my way.
I must admit that this has been entertaining to some point. It feels good when you’re somewhere and suddenly someone comes up to you and recognizes you. It feels nice to receive emails from people that, had it not been for this blog, I would have never met. There are some nice people out there. People that would rather share their stories with you because they know that you won’t judge them. People that have nowhere else to turn to and they rely on you for the answer to that question that they would never dare ask anyone who knew them. It feels all kinds of warm inside when you actually get to become friends with those people. Good friends to that.
I don’t charge people for reading me. I actually don’t get anything from this. On the contrary, it takes time and effort to post. Time and effort that I am not obliged to give to my readers and that would be much more appreciated by the people in my life. I have a job, and a very demanding one. If instead of going home and posting or going places, taking pictures and telling you about things,I would take that time and use it on getting paid for doing something, I am sure I would be rich by now.
I put in writing what comes into my mind. The only censorship I practice with myself in this blog is related to cursing and fowl language. After that, there is no filter. Granted, I don’t write everything I think, but most of it is out there for the world to see.
I do understand that in a diverse world as this it is impossible to agree with everyone. I like this because it gives me the chance to view things from different perspectives and I actually get to grow as a person from that experience. But there are ways and then there are ways. Some people apparently had a lobotomy (and this in no way is meant as disrespect towards those who have had the surgery) and had a very important part of their brains surgically removed, because the only way they have to get their point across is to use offensive language and to even threaten those who they don’t agree with. And yes, I have been threatened.
Signs of very low IQ and no education or morals whatsoever.
Those types of people I’d rather not interact with.
If you don’t like me, then part your way and never read my blog again. If you don’t like the person I am (or at least, the part of my personality I show), then don’t come here. Please do not send me emails telling me you love me and what I write and then when the time comes that I write what I like to call my "conflictive posts", you go to other websites posting that you hate me, that I put you down, or as this certain girl that lives afar said on a very popular Dominican site, la "aquerosié", (yeah beotch, I have emails and comments from you where you ask me to be your friend, quite different than what you wanted people to think).
I am not that type of person. I don’t like conflict. I aim to please.
If you don’t like me I don’t see a reason why you should leave me offensive comments or bugging into my life as if you knew me. I don’t even see a reason why you would waste your useless time reading my posts!
Live your life and let me live my own.
I found this phrase while investigation about this subject on wikipedia:

"You are so far beyond being able to understand anything anyone here says that this is just converging on uselessness. The really sad part is that you really believe that you're winning. You are a shocking waste of natural resources — kindly re-integrate yourself into the food-chain. Just go die in your sleep you mindless flatulent troll."

If the shoe fits…

There is so much more of me that none of you know. Aside from what I post here, I do have a life, and a very interesting one. It is full of friends, family, love interests and "special friends" (because I do have a love life). Do not believe that just because you read a post of mine you have the right to pass judgment upon me. The only one with that power besides me is God.
This blog has taken me to a place where I never wanted to get in the first place. I just don’t want to be here anymore. I debated with myself over the weekend about ending all this and closing the blog for good. I even started closing shop, because aside from all the things I normally have to do, posting just didn’t feel as right or as fulfilling anymore, so I stopped posting as regularly as I did.
I think you all noticed. The comments and mails sent to me asking me to post attest to that. And to all of you, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
As usual, someone told me that I should ban anonymous comments and ignore the unwanted ones. Then again, I really do like blogging and if it weren’t for all the negative attention I get, I would never stop doing it.
After much thought, I decided once again that, although I am a very emotional person, I would not let the "pests" get to me.
I will continue with this, not because there are readers out there who actually enjoy what I do, but because I like it.
I will not be able to please everyone. Hence, I will only please myself. As for the rest… they can kindly GO TO HELL.
As for banning anonymous comments, I didn’t think it would do much good. First because there are actually a bunch of nice people who comment anonymously that don’t fall into to group of pests. Then, there are actually some "pests" that have fought their cowardice and decided to open blogs just to annoy the hell out of those of us who actually have no sick motive behind our blogging.
To all you pests out there…
Kindly refrain from posting your unwelcome comments. Kindly refrain from visiting my blog. Kindly stop calling me names. Kindly stop harassing me. Kindly stop bullying me.
I am too old for this crap. None of your comments will get to me (not that they ever did to begin with). I just ask this of you because it takes time to delete all of your nonsense and I’d rather spend it doing something productive than reading all the diarrhea/vomit that comes from your underdeveloped brains.
You are way too in the last spot of the food chain for me to actually care.
You are the "filimiñínguili" no ones cares to even acknowledge much less want around.

I have done my share of searching. Sadly, I must say that most of the hate comments/emails I receive come from Dominicans that have migrated to the United States. Sad to say. Very sad to say. It leaves you with some food for thought.
After all this time, I have learned that the best way to get these "a-holes" out of my life is to simply ignore them. I am up to a point now where I just delete their comments and emails without reading them whenever I detect that they are written by these kind.
Don’t reply or post their comments. Don’t give them fuel to feed their hatred. Don’t give them a reason to reply back. Don’t even acknowledge them or their comments Simply… forget they even exist. As time goes by and they don’t see any reaction from you, they will tire and find someone else to engage.

I do remind you though that if you persist in harassing me, law and technology have put tools at my disposal to actually do something about it. Trust me, from experience I tell you, they work. It doesn’t matter if you live abroad. It doesn’t matter if you use a loaned computer. In the end, the good guys always win.

Go here to read an interesting article on cyber-bullying.

20 comments:

nascosta said...

just try not to take it personal. all these people want is to get a reaction from you, and they will attack wherever they think is gonna hurt you. i dont know what else they may have told you, but they criticize the way you dress because they think that is one of life's most important subjects, and probably thought that you felt the same way. obviously, a diferencia de, you have more substantial things to think about. and its probably a person just dying to live the life you do. its a pitty that instead of going out and making something out of their lives, anything at all, they just sit in front of a screen all day reading about the lifes of others. uhmm, now i kinda got sad thinking about it.

Will said...

y nahh..yo entendi..ok

Sass said...

You know what? I think that the day people realize the huge value of the phrase "live and let live" we'll finally have peace, I like your blog and even when I might not always agree with you that doesn't mean that I need to get agressive with you because that is exactly the reason why this is YOUR BLOG, why would someone waste his/her time doing such stupid things, I'm gonna tell your stalker(s) something I said before: blogger is still free, if you fell so frustrated with your empty and boring life open a blog and let your frustrations be!!!

Kisses.

Juan Chalas said...

cojelo easy, ofende kien puede no kien kiere, cuando veas esos mensajes pones tu musikita, una bebida y relaaaaaax por k no le des el gusto de killarte, PLUR (peace, love, union, respect) algo k aki mucha gente no practica

lagitti said...

Hang in there, don't quit if you enjoy it and ignore them.

Anonymous said...

Bracuta,

Yo soy de los que siempre escribe comentarios anonimos; pero si en algun momento decidieras que para tu tranquilidad solamente permitirias comentarios de usuarios registrados, yo te entenderia. De cualquier modo comentaria en tu blog.

Un abrazo,

lizzie González said...

yo siempre te leo, aunque no siempre comento...a mi también me tienen harta y como tu, decidí decirles algo http://libretita.blogspot.com/2006/11/ano-nimos.html#comments solo que les dediqué muchísimo menos tiempo y neuronas.... como dijo alguien arriba, solo quieren verte hervir...mira, hay uno que hizo su blog y que como ve que yo no le comento, ha buscado las mil y una formas de insultarme buscardome la boca (funcionan como los policías, como no tienen argumento alguno que valga, solo buscan que te encojones para tener entonces una razón para molestarte)no les des el gustazo, no valen la pena.

Mónika said...

Creo que debes aplicar lo que nunca se me olvida que tenías en tu jeepioneta pegado atrás: "NCC", y eso es algo que jamás se me ha olvidado desde que te conocí en Messina&Messina, no te acuerdas de mi, pero yo siempre me recuerdo de ti con muchisimo cariño..O sea NCC con ellos y Pa lante!!You´re too Good and your blog too!!!

kalondi said...

Don't quit Bracuta because the bullies. I understand you and agree with you. But remember bullies are only bullies. You are a professional, a woman with an interesting life, with a beautiful family and the most important thing, you have the support of us, your real readers. Don't quit. Stay here and do the same you do everyday with your life, that's your life. Bullies will be bullies tomorrow too because they don't have life. We love and respect you as Bracuta the blogger and we don't need to know about your personal life and start cursing you. One thing: you get more anonymous, more bullies in your blog because you are a blogger star, your posts are interesting and everybody wants to be like you, you are a famous blogger and you are really good.

Joan Guerrero said...

Como dice nascosta, la cuestión no es tomarlo a lo personal. Lo que importa es darle la espalda a ellos, aunque convivan con nosotros en la misma cama.

Ginnette said...

Lamentablemente estas "personas" desean hacerse famosas a costa de otras, que como tu, tienen talento y dedicacion para escribir. Realmente no le veo el sentido a "acabar" con alguien que no conoces, que no piensas como el, que tienen diferentes tipos de vida. Si no te gusta mi blog, pues no lo leas, punto. Eso es democracia. Ignoralos y no te dejes vencer.

New york said...

Yo creo que le has dado mucho gusto a los anonimos que se complacen molestandote. Mucho drama de tu parte. Esta no es la pimera vez que escribes sobre las personas que te ofenden y que no tienen vida ademas de insultarte y decirte cosas. Y creo que no sera la ultima.
Le has dado demasiado el gusto a esa gente. Tu error fue hacerles caso desde el principio.

Pero keep it up! Tu sabes que eres uno de los pocos blogs ORiGINALES y BUENOS.

Anonymous said...

Hi Bracuta,

I want to congratulate you for such an amazing blog, I love it and I actually started getting interested in blogs because of you and other bloggers out there. You are one of the best and I think you should not even spend your precious time writing such a long message like this to some brainless people that will continue doing the same things anyways, that is just who they are. I am a very proud Dominican girl from NY and I have fun reading most of your posts. They keep me updated about things from DR you don't see on the news, or newspaper. And let me tell you that this trip you just made to China has inspired me to kind of experience other cultures and get out of the same vacation rutine from every year. Continue doing what you like!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi,

You don't know me, and I don't know you but ever since i discovered your blog, not so long ago, I always visit it and read your posts, but I've never commented before. I think this is a great blog, by far my favorite along with Alfonso's. I just want to say I think the best way to handle this is exactly how you are doing it, just ignoring them and not lowering to their level. Please know that there is people here in DR that do appreciate your blog :).

Take care.

Desendilgada said...

No soy de tus lectores asiduos, sin embargo de cuando en cuando me paseo por aquí y echo un vistazo, no des cabida, y se que es más fácil decirlo que hacerlo, a bobadas anónimas por más personal que lleguen a ser. Quien o quienes sean no tienen los cojones u ovarios para dar la cara. La cara la das tú, sigue dándola, no te dejes apabullar, seguirán tratando de echar tierra pero de cuando en cuando me gusta encontrarme con perlas en el fango...

Josema el Anonimo said...

hey nada... mientas nos sigas tomando en cuenta seguiremos siendo anonimos =] ejeje

naaa soy josema (carropublico) este es mi debut como anonimo =]~

puedes poner un control de comments y cosas asi, pero como quiera te llenaran el inbox y tendras que borrar muchos comments asi que es mejor dejarlos, despues de un tiempo se cansan... mirame ami que toy de anonimo y nama de ta escribiendo este comment ya no quiero se ma anonimo =\

no pero en realidad es eso.. mientra uno le sigue dando importancia a los anonimos, eyos seguiran comentando en los blogs... ami legal me da igual los anonimos y todo eso.

[pd: me beo mas bonito de anonimo =D]

claudia t. said...

5 dias sin postear... que te esta pasando??? I miss your posts, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Please post, I'll check every day, several times a day...
A big hug

lamismamoma said...

mana, suelte eso en banda.
los anonimos son del mismo tipo de personas que critican a la gente que ni siquiera conoce.

Anonymous said...

It's actually sad that you spent time thinking about such people, and then spend even more time writting such a long post on the subject matter...not trying to be harsh or mean...but it's sad.

DJEB said...

Think of it this way:

In a certain way, I like getting trolls. If they attack you, it means that some asshole has given up a piece of his or her life - a piece that can never be reclaimed - to write something that, with the click of a button, I will send into the great void. These people have dedicated a portion of their lives to me, and I can (and do) destroy that effort, making those moments of their assholic little lives disappear forever. Just thinking about it gives me a warm feeling.